Sunday, November 13, 2011

A great place to be...

This morning, I am still taken back by the beautifully touching birthday my family planned for me this year. Not only was it 11/11/11 but it was also a birthday for which I was more aware of how grateful I was for having it, being here and having the opportunity to embrace a healthier, more full life going forward. Since my heart attack...few moments seem to escape me as I am hell bent on seeing them, living them, embracing them and making them. Before I arrived in that hopeful emotional place, I struggled trying to figure out why, what for and why me! I am glad I am no longer in that place. I am thankful for my patient and loving family who helped me work through my fears, struggles, stresses and emotions during that time. I have the greatest friends and family who have continually been checking in on me to keep me close, and show me their love, support and encouragement. My mother was home with me for two weeks, and barely left my side ensuring that things were easier for me, seamless, on track and adaptable before she could even leave to go back home, and even then had a hard time doing it.  She is such a rock, and she always steps in when I really need her to make sure I can again be my own rock before she will leave my side. 

This year...I had the most beautiful and touching birthday I have ever had in my entire life! First...my Mom gave me a Pandora bracelet with charms that She, Tara, Beth, Todd, Emily, Molly, and Ron had a part in picking out. My Mom gave me a heart charm (that she actually got BEFORE my heart attack) that has two hearts on it. She said the bigger heart was hers, and the small heart inside was mine because my heart would forever be in hers. {tissues please).  She also gave me a charm with Braydens birthstones on it, one with my own birthstone, a guardian angel, and a snowman.  I will forever cherish this piece of jewelry as I continue to build a mini-life story on it of my experiences and life.  What a perfectly thoughtful gift.

I took Friday (bday) off of work to relax, take it easy, recoup after my first week back at work, and to enjoy this beautiful birthday my family had been planning for me.
So...my husband and family have been secretly planning my birthday for awhile now. Ron was making plans, then changing them, or making them just to keep me off track...but either way...they made my birthday so wonderfully beautiful this year I can hardly find words to describe how happy this day made my heart. That is a great place to be.

First thing in the morning, Brayden snuggled up to my back and reached his chubby little arm around my neck while patting my face as he sweetly said "you gotta wake up now Mommy, it's your birthday today".  I woke up with an instant smile on face, while feeling SO so grateful that I was being loved by this beautiful little guy that means the world to me!!!  That made my top moments in life list. So, we got up and moving since we knew that Todd, Beth and Emily and Molly were on the way over to deliver a homemade breakfast to my house!!!  They brought a healthy, low cholesterol Egg Beaters quiche over with toast, smart butter, and orange juice!!!  They quiche was DELICIOUS!!!  The girls even picked out snowflake plates and napkins for me since it was also the first snow of the season that day!  Everything was perfect, and special-especially my purple princess tiara they gave me to wear for the day!!! I loved enjoying the morning.  I loved watching Brayden play with everyone.  I loved that he was so happy too!  I loved that they thought of every little detail to make my morning that much more special.  They didn't miss a thing.  It was perfect.

Shortly after Todd and the girls left, Beth agreed to be my shopping buddy for the afternoon!  She awesomely took Brayden in her cart for the trip for me.  It was bliss shopping without having to concentrate on anything but shopping.  I haven't had the opportunity to do that in a long time, so it was very very nice.  Beth and I had so much fun digging for treasures at Mr. Salvages going out of business sale!!!  We stayed for quite a while.  Probably longer than most normal people...but you seriously have to DIG for the good stuff and that takes time!!!  I know this all sounds as fun as going gun shopping with a husband, but trust me...when everything is 75% off in the entire store...what could not be fun about that!!!  I spent $30 bucks and had tons of great things at the end of our excursion!  Not surprisingly...Beth had more than I did...and I say not surprisingly because every time I shop with Brayden, I tend to put more in the cart than I had planned too because its easier to just keep that cart moving to keep him happy and I take far much less time contemplating purchases.  Sorry Bether! 

After arriving back home later in the afternoon, it was time to just relax for awhile, play with my peanut who was oh so tolerant shopping all day, and just chill out.  Since the house was all clean, I got on facebook!  I was overwhelmed with the amount of friends and family that had wished me a Happy Birthday!  It was a sweet moment of amazement.  My Mom wrote a great post to me that I will never forget!  For years she has teased me because of my lucky birth numbers-and my lack of luck!!!  She has always questioned that irony and with every new un-lucky life event of mine...she tends to come back to wondering why I was born with such interesting birth statistics, and such a high storage of un-luck!  Well...she wrote all of these sweet comments about me and then wrote..."For years I wondered why you have been so unlucky,  but today it dawned on me that since the day you were born...I am the lucky one!".  What a beautiful thing to say to me!  I am so grateful to have a mother like her.  She is amazingly kind, smart and loving.  She is fiercely devoted to her family, and is one of those women who is full of genuine kindness and moxy!  She is a true lady! There isn't one quality about her that I don't adore. I am so so grateful. I have some of the very best friends and family out there. 

Soon, Ron got home from work, and we chatted about my day so far!  He acted pleased that I was having such a great day, but also like he knew all along what kind of day I was going to have long before it arrived!  I knew he had been scheming with my family for awhile now, but I really had NO idea how special this whole day would turn out!!!

Later, Ron's sister came over with my nephew, and my brother in law to see me on my birthday! Little Marion and Brayden had a "drum off" together, and Bray was following Marions every move on the drums (with his tongue out the entire time!). We watched Jeff Dunham and peanut (my fav comedian) and laughed in hysterics!!!  Brayden loves them too! They all gave me a gift certificate to Panache Salon to get pampered with a pedicure. Oh, how I can't wait to use that!

After they left, it was time to start getting ready for dinner.  Ron made dinner reservations at Forte' with Todd, Beth, Emily, Molly, and Brayden. We parked about a block away and as we were walking turning the corner onto 3rd street I was just enjoying taking in the snow touched town all lit up with Christmas lights when out of nowhere Kyle Gustafson (friend of the family who is a great musician) was at the top of the parking ramp playing Happy Birthday on his trumpet for me! My family turned around to look at me and their smiles were beautiful. They were giggling, clapping, hugging me as I smiled, giggled and cried...then cheers ensued. People passing by stopped in their tracks to listen. The trumpet was crisp and spot on tune and the sound just echoed off of the buildings. It was beautiful.  Every sense I have was working to take in this moment.  The smell of the crisp cold air, seeing the emotions on my families faces, hearing the trumpet play, and hugging people I love with all of my heart...it was an amazing and {poorly defined by words} feeling. I was totally serenaded with love.  What a great place to be!
Just when I thought the night was almost over...we walked into Forte.  What a great restaurant.  The smell was tempting, the lighting and atmosphere was intimate, and our table was private and in the perfect spot in the restaurant.  Not to mention that I knew the food there was DELICIOUS!!! The anticipation was killing me...I was starving. We begged Kyle to stay and have dinner with us and thankfully he happily obliged. We all talked, giggled, and just enjoyed each other. It felt warm. Todd, Beth and the girls then showed me what they had been up too this afternoon while Beth and I were on our bargain sabbatical!  They had all driven up to Chautauqua Institution to video tape the bell tower (my favorite place) ringing at exactly 1:00pm...my birth time. Right after the one tone for 1:00, the gloomy sky at the beginning of the video amazingly lit up with sunshine. It could not have been more perfect. I loved how thoughtful that video and the planning of doing that for me was! I was awestruck. It gave me goosebumps.  It made me teary. I loved it.  At that point in the night, I sat back quietly observing my family sitting around me.  I was taking mental pictures in my head so I would never forget this night, this feeling, and this moment.  I am so blessed.  I am so happy I have the family I have, the friends I have and the life I have.  It was again...perfect. Soon we got our bills and when my brother looked at his Forte bill, the amount on the receipt was $117. 71 which was awesome because I was born 11/11/77 at 1:00 and weighed 7lbs, 7 oz. and on 11/11/11 that was very cool. After we all took pictures of the bill we all prepared to leave to go back to the house for cake!

As they arrived at the house, they came in with arms full of gifts, gift bags, and energy!  Right when I thought the night was over...there were more surprises coming!  I could not believe it! I was overwhelmed with the feeling that they devoted a whole day to my birthday, being with me, and showering me with more love than I could believe I deserved!!! Todd, Beth and the girls made me a beautiful cake with flowers on it. Just before they handed me the cake, they gave me a lotto ticket they got for me!!! Let's face it...some gambling had to take place on this day with those birth numbers!!! Beth made my cake with only the white of eggs for me, and they remembered that my favorite cake is funfetti too! They all didn't miss a thing. They sang happy birthday to me again, and Brayden helped Mommy blow out the 7 candles.  We all sat at the table and again I was able to watch my family around me having fun, smiling, loving each other and being together, with me!  I got to open all of my gifts, and was taken back by the thoughtfulness of how perfect each and every gift was that I was given.  I was humbled by the cards that I was given...the words within will forever resonate in my mind and in my heart.  What a gift those were in an of themselves.

Soon...Todd asked what time it was...and it was 11:11, so everyone sang Happy Birthday to me again! I could not help but feeling throughout the entire day that I was so lucky, so blessed, and so loved. We finished the night off by watching another hysterical comedian with lots of giggles,  laughter and smiles as we were all comfy and together in my own very living room.  I felt this way all day long.  That feeling of overwhelming appreciation and love for my life, my family, and my friends. I love those kinds of moments.  The kind that become memories etched in your heart forever!  The kind of moments that never escape your memory.  The kind that motivate the genuine gratefulness for life that sometimes slips by.  I am the luckiest woman alive! It made my home and heart feel perfect and... That is a great place to be.

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Christmas Season 2010

Well...Christmas 2010 is behind us.  I am sad about it too.  I get that way every year...the after the Holidays blues.  My tree is still up and so are the many decorations that are mostly eched with the cliche' "snow" quote on them...get it?  Yes, even though I kept my maiden name...I still get all tickled that my married name is Snow, and this time of year it just fits. 

This year we spent time with family and friends.  I hosted our family Christmas this year, and I must say it was so much fun.  Having my family in my home before and after Christmas with us eating all sorts of yummies made my home feel warm, and filled it with love.  There was an unspoken ambiance that was created and felt in my home because my family was here.  As an adult, that feeling is the best Christmas gift ever!  I watched my brothers and nieces and nephews play with Brayden.  I listened to them giggle.  I had really fun conversations with my neices.  We swapped fun Christmas gifts, and lauged really hard in the process.  We all ate until our belly's ached.  It was special.  It made our holidays feel really good even though we were all missing Mom, Scott, Tara and the boys. 

Brayden naturally entertained everyone as usual with his quirky little performances, and his story to Emily about how him and Daddy built a snowman together in the backyard!  Poor Em...she glanced outside to look for it...Brayden quickly told her it probably melted.  I giggled when Emily recapped his story to her since Daddy and Brayden havent built a snowman together at all in the backyard yet this winter!  Fibber. 

Ron and I put Brayden to bed, and came back downstairs to watch out for Santa Claus, and help put together a few things ;-)  We ate cookies, played Christmas music and hunkered down for assembly from 11:45 to 4am!  Yes we did!  It was fun though.  We giggled as every single time we heard a sound, we scrambled like spazzes trying to make a sad attempt at hiding wrapping paper and assembly tools ;-)

We talked about our lives together up to this point and giggled at some old funnies and stories that are now but mere memories for us.  We finally sneaked up to bed to snuggle with out peanut, and said sweet prayers of gratitude.  Then we prayed Brayden would sleep in for at least a small while in the morning. It didn't happen though. ;-(

In Heaven...

Just lately, Brayden has been asking questions like "Daddy, where is your Daddy and Mommy, where is your Daddy?"  Ron and I have both been telling him that our Daddy's passed away and that they are in heaven with Jesus, God, our guardian angels, and our other family in heaven.  He was usually quite content with that until a few weeks ago.  One morning brayden asked me again:  And our convo went like this:

Brayden: Mommy, where is your Daddy?

Me: Bray honey, my Daddy is in heaven!

Brayden: Where is Daddy's Daddy?

Me: He is in heaven with my Daddy!
Insert: Brayden putting his pouty and sad head down with the utmost look of hearbreak on his face as he starts to sob a little.

Me: Bray, whats the matter honey?  It's ok to be sad, but both of your Grandpas are watching over you ALL the time bubby!  Why are you so sad love?

Brayden:  "BECAUSE!!!!  I don't have a Daddy in heaven!" 

You should have seen my freaked out husbands face when I told him that story!!!

Ron thinks Brayden knows something he doesnt know, and statements like that make him paranoid.  He gets freaked out whenever he has a headache of some sort!  Me on the other hand thinks its adorable, and nothing more than a cute statement from that of a three year old.  Guess that's how we balance each other out so well huh?

Hope you are still giggling.  I am ;-)

Sunday, August 7, 2011

An impromptu weekend...

This last weekend was probably the most fun, relaxing weekend I have had in a long time.  Brayden and I woke up Saturday morning with Daddy at work and we decided that even though it was a gloomy and semi-windy day we would head out to Timmy Ho's for our usual morning drinks...a large Double double for me, and a chocolate milk for Bray.  This of course after we spend a good 20 minutes in bed snuggling, giggling, tickling and gabbing about our plans...

As we were headed downtown, we happened to notice that the drum corp. international who had performed in the Lucy 100th Birthday parade the night before were holding a drum line practice downtown next to the ice rink.  So...we got our drinks, and parked ti listen and watch the drummers.  Soon we got out of the van and decided to sit on the benches nearby to watch and listen.  They were amazing.  Brayden danced and giggled listening to them play.  Soon an old neighbor Ive known since childhood came over to sit with us and we chatted about their performance and what a perfect day this was to watch them.  Within the next hour, a crowd started to form and the other band members started filing in to practice as a team.  We stayed for a few hours just relaxing, talking, laughing and enjoying a perfectly impromptu Saturday morning.  One of the drummers came over to talk to brayden and let him play on his drums!  Brayden was IN.HEAVEN!  All the young men filtered over slowly and were showing him drumming tricks and building him up!  They were so nice!  At the end before they headed back after their break...one guy came over and handed Brayden his drumsticks and told him to keep them!  They are all taped up and ratty from playing with, but how special that Brayden has ACTUAL drumsticks from the Texas drum corp. international marching band Genesis!  Too cool.

During all of this, we were on the phone on and off all morning with my niece Emily discussing the huge Lucy picture that was going to take place downtown at 2PM with everyone dressed as Lucy and Desi for the attempt to have the most Lucy's in one place at one time at City Hall for the Guinness Book of world Records!  She convinced us that this was important, and that she would have costumes ready for us with wigs if we could make it to their house in 5 minutes to get dressed....so off we went...and quickly!  I should mention is was 1:35PM...lol! 

We scurried over there and Emily and Molly got Brayden dolled up in a Lucy dress look-a-like costume and a red wig.  I quickly laid on the bright red lipstick we had to have and he quickly said to Emily, "Emily!  I don't have a necklace!"  After we all laughed in hysterics, Emily rushed around to find him the perfect white pearls to don!  We drove there and parked and were literally RUNNING to city hall to make it for the picture!  There were photographers from all over the world snapping pictures and doing news articles on this event in celebration of Lucille Ball's 100th Birthday celebration.  We.just.made.it!


It was such a great afternoon of laughing, pictures, history and fun.  Walking back to the car Brayden said to me, "Mommy, thank you, I am having so much fun today!, Thank you for the day off Mommy!".  It made me smile from ear to ear!  It also made me want to quit my job and stay home with him again, but that is not a possible thing for us to do right now! 

At the end of the day Emily and I chatted and were talking about how Brayden was such a great sport.  He didn't get stressed by our rushed commotion and was totally up for this crazy fun experience.  She said she loved how he held so still as she was bobby pinning the red wig to his head and getting him all dolled up!  He is so much fun!  My whole family is so much fun!  I am so so glad that I had this experience this weekend.  I realized very quickly that life isn't always about plans and execution of them.  It;s about appreciating that even when our plans change, we can find that in those moments we will have the best moments in our lives!

Sunday, July 24, 2011

In Heaven...

Just lately, Brayden has been asking questions like "Daddy, where is your Daddy and Mommy, where is your Daddy?"  Ron and I have both been telling him that our Daddy's passed away and that they are in heaven with Jesus, God, our guardian angels, and our other family in heaven.  He was usually quite content with that until a few weeks ago.  One morning brayden asked me again:  And our convo went like this:

Brayden: Mommy, where is your Daddy?

Me: Bray honey, my Daddy is in heaven!

Brayden: Where is Daddy's Daddy?

Me: He is in heaven with my Daddy!
Insert: Brayden putting his pouty and sad head down with the utmost look of hearbreak on his face as he starts to sob a little.

Me: Bray, whats the matter honey?  It's ok to be sad, but both of your Grandpas are watching over you ALL the time bubby!  Why are you so sad love?

Brayden:  "BECAUSE!!!!  I don't have a Daddy in heaven!" 

You should have seen my freaked out husbands face when I told him that story!!!

Ron thinks Brayden knows something he doesnt know, and statements like that make him paranoid.  He gets freaked out whenever he has a headache of some sort!  Me on the other hand thinks its adorable, and nothing more than a cute statement from that of a three year old.  Guess that's how we balance each other out so well huh?

Hope you are still giggling.  I am ;-)

Summer 2010

This year has already been a very very busy year for us (can't you tell from my lack of blogging lately?).  I went back to work early in the beginning of the year, and Ron followed suit again shortly thereafter.  Brayden is now with a sitter for a few hours a day, and is really doing well with that.  He is having a lot of fun with his new friends, and the only thing he doesn't thoroughly enjoy is getting up early in the morning with Mommy to get ready to go.  He grumbles, re-snuggles into his pillows and acts like he does not even hear me!!!

Of course with all of that going on, Ron has just finished another season of the Babe Ruth prep league, regular season team and the all star teams.  His coaching was awesome this year, and he was even awarded for the 2011 Ray Angle Awward for Babe Ruth!  He was very proud, and it was VERY hard for me to keep it a secret for two weeks!  Me...keeping a secret!  I know~but I did it folks! Brayden of course had the time of his life again this season with his own little uniform to match the big kids, and he had tons of little kids to play with at each and every game we attended.  We even got to go out of town for All star championships this year and have a nice 4 days in a hotel room...it was baseball for the boys, and LUXURY for Momma!  I truly enjoyed having this time with both of my boys as the days seem to get shorter and shorter as of late.

I have not really been doing much of anything except working (which I LOVE my job), and trying to keep up with and support Rons endeavors with baseball this summer.  Of course, the usual has taken place....Bray and Mommy time, playtime, pool time, and not much else.  We have spent weeks eating out, avoiding cleaning and laundry, and just relaxing with each other at each special moment we can.  I am going to start blogging again more regularly, as I have had an interesting last year and need to reflect on it in some ways.  Hope you are all enjoying your nice hot summer as well!  Will be back shortly with some pics and stories.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Our dear sweet Shadow...


Our dear Shadow of 15 years passed away the second week of March. She peacefully went in her sleep and we buried her at Stateline along with all of the other family dogs. It was very heartbreaking for Ron and I and our family and friends that loved her as well. Bacca and Brayden actually handled it very well.
Brayden asked me {about a week later}..."Mommy, where's Shadow?" I was honest and told him that sometimes when animals get sick, their isnt enough medicine to make them better and that animals dont live as long as poeple do, and that she passed away and went to heaven". He said "Well...when Shadow comes back Bacca will be happy!" I then had to really explain that going to Heaven meant she would not be coming back , and that she was dead, and she is no longer in pain, and is with God and our other family in heaven with our guardian angels" {he knows this from our prayers at night, so I went with that}. He walked away and started playing again with his play phone when I breathed a sigh of relief until I heard him say to his caller "Hi Shadow, its me...Brayden...how are you? Oh, really? Wow, yeah, uh huh, ok...bye!!!! He came running up to me and said very excitedly "Mommy!!!!!!!! I talked to Shadow and she is happy in heaven, and they gave her a band aid, and she is jumping on the trampoline and bounce house!!!" I got all excited with him, and when he walked away....I sobbed! It's amazing though that he embraced something I thought would devastate him.

Shadow {Pretty girl}...was a part of our family since 1997.  We got Bacca  a year later.  She was our little escape artist..she would dig under or climb over any fence we had.  She would "sass" you when you talked to her, and she loved whip cream, peanut butter and ice chips.  She never growled, never nipped, she was the sweetest happiest dog ever!  She would constantly give kisses and loved to play and run and frolic as many dogs do.  She had such an adventurous life, and loved riding in the car on our many road trips with her.  She would swim in our pool and hop around like a frog when we played rough with her...she would have me in stitches half the time.  She was such a wonderful part of our family.  Burying her was emotional, but in a good way.  The last few years arthritis plagued her and she slowly became miserable.  She would just sleep, eat and go potty. I felt relieved that is now in Heaven and no longer in pain.  There is true solice in that.  I hope her soul is still with us, and that she knows just how much we loved her!!!

We will greatly miss her!!! So...we are giving Bacca lots of love and attention right now! We love you pretty girl!

Update...long overdue

Well, I'll admit it...I feel like the long lost blogger these days.  I keep thinking "Oooh, Ill need to blog about that", except, I typically don't have time to do it these days anymore. 

This Momma has gone from Stay at home Mommy Status to back to work Mommy.  I received an offer for a career I just could not say no too.  I am now an Assistant Executive Director for Emeritus Senior Living.  I love it!  It does require a lot of my time and concentration, but it is also pushing me to go back to school this year as well to pursue my Bachelors in Business, then I plan to work on a Maters after that.  Needless to say, my home decor and furniture rehab projects have gone by the wayside {as well as cleaning my house lately!} lol.  The only I dislike about the whole thing is when I get home from work Brayden says to me "Mommy, are you done with work so you can spend time with me now?"  It breaks my heart, but it also motivates me to get on the floor and play when all I want to do is sleep for an hour or two! lol.

Brayden is growing as fast ever!  He is definitely going to be taller than me...and maybe Ron too!  He is counting, learning all of his letters, numbers, and is slowly working on reading right now.  He speaks so well for his age, and is constantly making us giggle with his remarks and personality.  He loves being home during the day with Daddy, and is learning everything he can about dinosaurs right now...{c/o: Dino Dan}.  I must say I am quite impressed with the names of the ones he knows currently...half of them I CANT pronounce...and he can!  All in all, he is a wonderful little guy.  I need to make an effort to document everything I can so Ill never forget these moments in his life.

Daddy is still at that Fire Department.  He loves it.  He was awarded First Responder this year at the banquet, received his EMT state certification, and just had his 1 year anniversary there last week.  During that week he was privileged enough to be able to assist in the delivery of a baby on the ambulance and received his first EMT First Responder Stork pin, and an article in the local newspaper!!!  He is also getting ready to start coaching Babe Ruth Baseball again this year and is gearing up for a whole summer full of all that it will entail!

I promise to get everyone caught up here in the next coming weeks.  Stay tuned!!!